1%

Even though I had cramps and even though I was 99% sure I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't just NOT test at 11dpo, especially when there was the potential for drinking that day.  Funny, I really was shocked and in disbelief.  I read those words a hundred times with every BFP posted on the message boards, and everytime I read that I was thinking, 'sha, whatever, how could they be shocked if they were trying?'.


Well shocked I am.  I took the test and put it out of site until the timer went off for 3 minutes.  Then, I looked and couldn't believe my eyes.  How could this be?  I went into the bedroom and woke up my husband with, "Hey baby, take this with a grain of salt, but this pregnancy test is positive".  Yes, I still didn't believe it.  Firstly, I was skeptical that maybe, even though I tested out the trigger, maybe it was still positive due to the trigger shot.  It was still 3 days before I was supposed to be able to test.  Also, those darn cramps were still there! Also, 16 months of negatives will make you skeptical.

But here it is:

We had to drive 8 hours round trip that day to see my husband's family, which was a good distraction, but I had a REAL hard time not getting excited.  

The next day I took another test, which was even darker.  This was enough proof for me that I am definitely pregnant! Except, I did not turn a digital test yet.. 

At this point I told my husband I had bad news, he was going to have to do the kitty litter box for the next nine months, haha!

So, on that Monday (the 25th), I called my RE's office to let them know, and they had me come in for betas.  The ridiculous beta level was 716! This is way above the normal range for 3 weeks 5 days.  The causes for this could be any of the following:

a) nothing to worry about, just a high count for no reason.

b) could be having a girl, as high hcg levels for this early have shown to be early indicators of girl babies.

c) could be twins, which is possible since I took Femara this cycle.

d) molar pregnancy (this would be bad).  But I don't have any of the other symptoms of this, so I'll not worry about that.

Tuesday the 26th I was finally able to turn a digital positive, woot:

I am scared out of my wits to lose this baby.  I know this is just my "pregnancy after a loss" brain, but there it is.  I feel scared every single time I go to the bathroom that I will be bleeding.

Symptoms so far:

-Lower back pain

-Frequent urination

-Slight nausea (but nothing too bad yet)

-Cramps

-Insomnia, ugh

-Hunger .. but then again I've always been hungry.  I'm a flab queen.

Here I am at 4 weeks:

Yep, that's pretty much just flab.  Ha.

Now, if I can make it to six weeks, I will be so ridiculously excited!  And at Christmas we will share our news with family!