7w5d Ultrasound

Today was a hell of a day.

This morning I was wrecked with nerves, so bad I cried on the way to the doctor's appointment.  I am still feeling queasy, which is a "good thing", but that's not enough to calm my pregnancy after a loss brain.  Today was the most nervous I have ever been, I believe.  Definitely more nerve wracking than my wedding day. Today was the day we would hopefully see a heartbeat.


And we did!!

Not only did we get to see the tiny little flicker, but the doctor couldn't get a good grasp of it the rate visually, so he used audio and we got to hear it! A healthy 163 beats per minute.  This Momma is relieved, to say the least.

Now we are released to an OB, and I can relax more and accept that this is really happening!  Aaah!!!!

7 Weeks!

How far along: 7 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I've gained.. some.

Maternity clothes: I got some maternity jeans in and they are awesome! I haven't worn them out yet, but I can't wait.. except that they make me look way more pregnant than I am.

Stretch marks: No new ones. 

Sleep: Still waking up in the middle of the night some, but fatigue is definitely settling in around here.

Best moment this week: Telling my Dad over the weekend! We gave him a Christmas card with the ultrasound taped inside.. it took him a minute, but he finally got it and is so happy to be getting grandchild #10.

Miss anything: Wine. Medium rare steak, goat cheese. I know these last two are probably fine, but I'm not taking any chances.

Movement: Not for another couple of months most likely.

Food cravings: salty foods.  And chocolate, although that may just be normal for me 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Pretty much all beef is gross.

Have you started to show yet: I have a lot of blump.  Bloat on top of fat.

Gender: Not for another 11-12 weeks. 

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On, but I don't know how much longer that will be.  My wedding band is already hard to get off...

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!!  I did cuss out my boss and coworkers this morning for making a joke at me.. but played it off like I was kidding, haha

Labor signs: Not for another 33 weeks at least, I hope. 

Looking forward to: Announcing to my family at Christmas, and my next ultrasound on Monday the 23rd!

Milestones: 7 Weeks is a great milestone for me.  Can't wait to meet him/her!

6 Weeks!

How far along: 6 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I've gained.. some.

Maternity clothes: I ordered some maternity jeans.  My old ones still fit, but they are uncomfortable. And pretty soon I'm going to have to find some work pants.

Stretch marks: No new ones. 

Sleep: Pretty bad.  I wake up in the middle of the night every night for about an hour. boo.

Best moment this week: Getting my first ultrasound and seeing that everything is fine!

Miss anything: Wine. Medium rare steak, goat cheese. I know these last two are probably fine, but I'm not taking any chances.

Movement: Not for another couple of months most likely.

Food cravings: salty foods.  And chocolate, although that may just be normal for me 

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of ground beef cooking is awful, disgusting, horrible.

Have you started to show yet: I have a lot of blump.  Bloat on top of fat.

Gender: Not for another 11-12 weeks. 

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On, but I don't know how much longer that will be.  My wedding band is already hard to get off...

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!!  No bad mood swings.. yet.

Labor signs: Not for another 34 weeks at least, I hope. 

Looking forward to: Announcing to my family at Christmas, and my next ultrasound on Monday the 23rd!

Milestones: the ultrasound I had yesterday.  We found out we are just having one little Stormy, and that's great.  Can't wait to meet him/her!

Stormageddon's first picture

Today I went for my first ultrasound.  The purpose of this was to check to make sure our little Stormy is growing in the right place.

The ultrasound looked great and measured exactly right! Too early to see a heartbeat, but just barely.  I go back in 2 weeks for another check, then I will be released to an OB. Woo!

Here's baby's first picture:

The hand is pointing to our little guy/girl :)

5 Weeks

How far along: 5 weeks, one day.

Total weight gain/loss: I've gained.. some.

Maternity clothes: Nothing yet, everything still fits the same.

Stretch marks: No new ones. 

Sleep: I was having insomnia, but that could have just been excitement, since I slept like the dead last night. Fun dreams, though.

Best moment this week: Every time I go to the bathroom and I'm not spotting.

Miss anything: Wine.

Movement: Not for another couple of months most likely.

Food cravings: I'm just craving food, it doesn't matter what it is. FEED ME!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: More like, a whole lotta heartburn.

Have you started to show yet: I have a lot of blump.  Bloat on top of fat.

Gender: Not for another 11-12 weeks. 

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On, but I don't know how much longer that will be.  My wedding band is already hard to get off...

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!!  No bad mood swings.. yet.

Labor signs: Not for another 34 weeks at least, I hope. 

Looking forward to: Announcing to my family at Christmas, and my first ultrasound on Monday the 9th!

Milestones: Monday I have an ultrasound to check for correct location.  I'm wondering how many are in there!

Gross

You know what's not awesome?  

Having a heightened sense of smell and working in a Utilities department.  People come through my office smelling like poo.  And then I want to throw up.

1%

Even though I had cramps and even though I was 99% sure I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't just NOT test at 11dpo, especially when there was the potential for drinking that day.  Funny, I really was shocked and in disbelief.  I read those words a hundred times with every BFP posted on the message boards, and everytime I read that I was thinking, 'sha, whatever, how could they be shocked if they were trying?'.


Well shocked I am.  I took the test and put it out of site until the timer went off for 3 minutes.  Then, I looked and couldn't believe my eyes.  How could this be?  I went into the bedroom and woke up my husband with, "Hey baby, take this with a grain of salt, but this pregnancy test is positive".  Yes, I still didn't believe it.  Firstly, I was skeptical that maybe, even though I tested out the trigger, maybe it was still positive due to the trigger shot.  It was still 3 days before I was supposed to be able to test.  Also, those darn cramps were still there! Also, 16 months of negatives will make you skeptical.

But here it is:

We had to drive 8 hours round trip that day to see my husband's family, which was a good distraction, but I had a REAL hard time not getting excited.  

The next day I took another test, which was even darker.  This was enough proof for me that I am definitely pregnant! Except, I did not turn a digital test yet.. 

At this point I told my husband I had bad news, he was going to have to do the kitty litter box for the next nine months, haha!

So, on that Monday (the 25th), I called my RE's office to let them know, and they had me come in for betas.  The ridiculous beta level was 716! This is way above the normal range for 3 weeks 5 days.  The causes for this could be any of the following:

a) nothing to worry about, just a high count for no reason.

b) could be having a girl, as high hcg levels for this early have shown to be early indicators of girl babies.

c) could be twins, which is possible since I took Femara this cycle.

d) molar pregnancy (this would be bad).  But I don't have any of the other symptoms of this, so I'll not worry about that.

Tuesday the 26th I was finally able to turn a digital positive, woot:

I am scared out of my wits to lose this baby.  I know this is just my "pregnancy after a loss" brain, but there it is.  I feel scared every single time I go to the bathroom that I will be bleeding.

Symptoms so far:

-Lower back pain

-Frequent urination

-Slight nausea (but nothing too bad yet)

-Cramps

-Insomnia, ugh

-Hunger .. but then again I've always been hungry.  I'm a flab queen.

Here I am at 4 weeks:

Yep, that's pretty much just flab.  Ha.

Now, if I can make it to six weeks, I will be so ridiculously excited!  And at Christmas we will share our news with family!

9 DPO: Cramps

Oh Dammit.

Here I am, 9 days past ovulation, with my same 9 DPO cramps I get every month.  This puts me at 99% sure I am not pregnant.

Here's my chart if you're bored and want to see:


My Ovulation Chart

What really sucks is that it'll be another 5-6 days before I actually get my period and can start a new cycle.

On to Cycle 17.  Dammit.

Ute pains

I'm now 3-4 days past ovulation. I say 4, but fertility friend says 3. Either way I'm experiencing something new: ute pains. I know it's in my uterus because it feels like its in the same place as the cramps I had during my HSG. Of course I could be totally wrong, but whatever. 

They are sporadic, and not too painful. I just wish that every time something different happens, that I didn't trick myself and get my hopes up by thinking, "maybe this means I'm pregnant!". *sigh*

Maybe it's the entire bag of popcorn I ate at the movies tonight...

Goings on

Sunday night I took my first "trigger" shot of HCG.  This is something I was a little unsure of, mostly because I see so many people on the message board who have taken them with no response.  Of course, it could just be that the ones with a response aren't posting on that board once they're pregnant.

The shot was easy to administer (straight in the stomach!), but I have been feeling kind of blah ever since.  I can definitely tell that it has jump started ovulation though.  Yay, ovulation cramps!  And my basal body temp went up today. If that's truly the case, we had good timing (doctor's orders!).

Keeping my fingers crossed that this was worth the wait! And the price of the shot..

Things I learned at the doctor's office this morning.

Things I learned at today's HSG appointment.

1) The gown goes on with the opening in the back.

2) The "no cell phones" in the doctor's office thing is a myth.

3) When a doctor says "should reduce discomfort", what he means is "not really going to".

4) I have a heart shaped uterus. I still don't know if that's a bad thing or not.

5) If I feel a "pop" inside of me, it's going to hurt a lot. Like, a lot.

6) Ow.

7) Seriously, ow.

8) My husband's swimmers are "excellent".

9) My tubes are clear.. now.

My doctor is very confident that we'll get pregnant soon.  Let's hope he's right.  In the meantime, I have an ultrasound on Friday to check for follies and such.  I'm just glad that HSG is over! Let the fun part of trying to conceive commence!

Here we go.

I decided it was high time to start writing down what's going on with my husband and myself and the ups and downs of our journey to have a baby.  

Our story starts back in May of 2012.  We had been married for a year and a half, and I was 30 and my husband 29.  We decided it was time for me to stop taking the pill.  We were going to "not really try, but not not try".

So, I finished out my last pack of pills, coincidentally on the same day of my last grandparent's funeral.  Of course, my first cycle off the pill was really long, which led me thinking, "hey, I must be pregnant!".  This of course got both my husband's and my hopes up. But of course, we were wrong, and it was just my body adjusting to not being on the pill.  That week or so of non-knowing was enough to put Jared and I into "trying" mode.  

Cut to February of 2013.  We'd been trying now for 8 months. I was already starting to get discouraged, and wondering if there was a problem. But then, BAM, BFP (big fat positive)! I was a few days "late" and took 2 tests, and there you go, I was pregnant.  I got very excited.  Even told my best friend, and later the next day when my husband got home, I finally got to tell him.  This was probably one of the happiest days of our lives. 

But, the next day, I miscarried.  I went to the doctor, and they did blood tests, and confirmed.  That's when I jumped on the bump message board called "Trying to Get Pregnant".  Here's where I found out that I had had a chemical pregnancy, meaning I was pregnant, but something wasn't genetically right, and I had a very early miscarriage. 

That was 8 months ago.  Since then, we have had zero BFPs. I have been doing everything I can, including charting basal body temperature, taking prenatal vitamins, using ovulation strips, etc.  

Two weeks ago I finally got in to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  These are the fertility doctors.  So far what I have learned is that I am textbook normal.  Normal ovulation, normal bloodtest, etc.  Right now there are one of three possibilities for why we are not pregnant.

1) Endometriosis.  I don't know enough about this to even speculate if I may have this.

2) Blocked Fallopian tubes.  I go tomorrow for an HSG (dye test & ultrasound) to check that.

3) Male infertility problems.  Jared dropped off a sample on Friday and I'm hoping to get the results anytime.


So for right now, I'm taking Femara, and I will take an Ovidrel trigger shot this month.  That is what we're doing. 

I am still in disbelief that it is taking this long.. but every single day I see and read about women going through the same situation.  I am discouraged, and encouraged at the same time.  

When my friends are getting pregnant without having to try very hard, I get very discouraged, and I'm not sure how to cope.  My best friend, who was the first person I told when I was pregnant in February, got pregnant shortly after that.  I'm happy for her, but I can't bring myself to go visit her.  It's not her fault we're having issues, but I still can't help being jealous.  

One day this will happen.   I am a very not-lucky person. But Stormageddon is coming soon, I just know it.